>This is well worth taking the time to read: The following essay on the power of the Gospel to transform lives was written by Helena Kowalewski as one of her university/college assignments (note this wasn’t for a religious class):
When asked about quality in my life, I am instantly inclined to mimic the Apostle Paul’s proclamation in Philippians 3:8: “I count everything as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ.” Christ’s goodness to mankind exalts Him to the position of highest worth in the eyes of the Christian. He deserved that position before dying on the cross and would have deserved it if He hadn’t, but it is an understanding of His sacrifice that enables me and every other Believer to see this. He Himself says that anyone who is not willing to renounce all that they have to follow Him cannot be His disciple. (Luke 14:33) Yet when any blind sinner has his eyes opened for the first time to see the King of Grace and the unmerited favor He offers, it becomes an honor to sacrifice all things and not only an obligation to obey. I have experienced and been given so much that I am thankful for, but these treasures appear to me merely trash when I compare them with my very best friend and my savior, Jesus Christ. He willingly gave His life for me, so I gleefully live my life for Him. However, I have only been doing so for a significantly small fraction of the time He has given me to live here on earth. Though we were all created to know Him, I ignored Him for 17 years of my life. My first encounter with true, enduring quality occurred in the February of 2009, my Junior year of high school.
A little bit of background is necessary to understand the context of the most significant experience of my life. You see, I wasn’t a professing Christian raised in a church who suddenly had a “light bulb moment” the eve of my salvation. In fact, I could not have been found anywhere near a church when I was growing up. I had never even cracked open a Bible to actually read the words on the pages until that same night that my eyes were mercifully opened. The most I knew about God came from a 1970’s musical called “Jesus Christ Superstar”- it turns out that movie wasn’t the most reliable source of information or enlightenment! I was much more interested in singing along to the catchy tunes of a musical than I was of learning about the one who knew me before my birth, who knitted me together in my mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13-16)
Neither of my parents would deny His existence or assert enmity with God, but more of an indifferent neutrality to the impact His existence does and should have on one’s life. According to them, God was a relatively impersonal creator and Jesus was only a historical moral figure who was crucified by the Roman government unfairly and provoked the formation of a new religion. This viewpoint was one I adopted as my own, and so lived on in pseudo-blissful ignorance. Little did I know that neutrality with God is impossible. Jesus says “He that is not with me is against me.” (Matthew 12:30)
Unaware of my enmity with God, I did attempt to reconcile my conscience with my lifestyle. Despite my ignorance to most of the truth taught in scripture, I at least understood that justice insists that “bad” is punished and that “good” is rewarded. Unfortunately I was using definitions of “good” and “bad” given to me by creatures, not the Creator. Far removed from their importance and relevance to God’s commands and expectations for our behavior, I was taught by my parents how to live a “moral” enough life that would keep me out of trouble and in favor with most people. So though I lived for myself and indulged in everything that I then falsely believed had quality and merit, I attempted some self control and refrained from the things that are “really bad.” As far as I was concerned as long as I wasn’t [frequently] disobeying earthly authorities (my parents, teachers, the police), and if I was [attempting] to be kind to everyone then I was an extremely good kid. But the entire time I was breaking the greatest commandment, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Matthew 22:37) According to James 2:10, it wouldn’t matter if I had abstained from even most sins and been good according to the vast majorities’ standards – breaking one of God’s laws is the same as breaking the whole law because perfection is a requirement. The natural consequence of sin – any sin – is death and punishable by an eternity in Hell. (Romans 6:23) But because I was satisfying my standard of goodness and quality set for me by my parents, I continued wandering obliviously down the path of destruction like a lost sheep; and I kept on meandering until my faithful Shepherd intervened Himself.
The evidence of God’s intervention became manifest for the first time when I was 16 and then appeared nearly nightly until my conversion. Though I by and large lived each day without a single thought of God and maintained a cool mask of confident indifference when asked for my religious views or thoughts on life after death, I began to fear death with an intensity that would often keep me awake at night. Oddly enough, even in those moments of fear my thoughts never drifted to Christ and my pride kept me from even considering that my fear was a result of my guilt. I was still steadfastly convinced of my own goodness, despite all obvious evidence to the contrary. Even many of the standards I had set for myself when I was younger I failed to keep as my heart was hardened and my conscience dimmed from my pursuit of sin. Though I felt that I was simply growing in maturity and choosing to live my life “to its fullest” I was actually enslaved to my sin. (John 8:32) People are not only guilty because of their sin, they are in bondage to it. We are virtually unable to love God the way we should unless we are “born again” and set free from the power of sin through faith in Jesus Christ. (John 3) Even people who appear pious or are able to “clean up their lives” on the outside are still subject to incriminating thoughts and secret sin. It does no good to fool other people into thinking we are good because God can see everything and ultimately judges our hearts; He will condemn those who love and wear the guilt of their own sin. This is the very reason the Son of God came to die, this is the good news of the gospel: He came so that by dying He could bear the wrath of God meant for every sinner who believes in Him so that we can be justified and set free from our enslavement. Everyone will either reap the consequences for their sins themselves or if they believe in Christ, will dwell in His Eternal Kingdom with Him because His sacrifice will count as the propitiation for their sins. (Romans 5:8-10) These very truths were what I lacked and the reason I spent many nights consumed with fear and dread at the prospect of death.
Soon after I turned 17, a friend that I had known for 5 years as a devout atheist turned to Christ. This confused, disgusted, and intrigued me. I could see no reason why he should “change his mind” so suddenly. He appeared to me to be at the height of livelihood, even more so than myself (which was a challenging feat in my modest opinion). He had the biggest love and zest for life that I had seen in any person, and yet he was suddenly trading it all for a boring, meaningless life of self-righteous piety, as I saw it. The intrigue overpowered the disgust and I was soon attending my very first Bible Study with him. I had never before met people who would sincerely call God their “best friend” or “beloved.” Titles like that seemed to me to be reserved for people here on earth – people who at least had the time of day to speak to you in person.Yet these people communed with God in ways I had not imagined were possible. Prayer to them was not a mechanical ritual that only takes place before meals. Reading the bible was not simply something other people did at you during an Easter or Sunday service. They had a living and active relationship with God; and He was their highest treasure. I do not use the word “treasure” lightly, either. They were not dull and deprived individuals even though they did abstain from many things I took pleasure in doing. My life had seemed so full, yet because it was full of sin I was truly empty. Not so with these Christians; their faces shined with joy and satisfaction. All of this revealed to me that I was missing something major in my analysis of God’s existence and its irrelevance to the way I lived my life. But I was still overlooking something vital. I saw the fruit of their devotion, yet I could not perceive the root.
One stormy night in February my fear came to a climax as I lay on my couch, petrified. I knew that if the lightning were to come crashing through the window beside me I would face something far more terrifying than thunderstorms. Unable to be quieted and calmed into even a fitful sleep I reached for the Bible that had been given to me and opened to the New Testament for the first time, seeking comfort. My eyes fell immediately to Luke 15:4-7 “So He told them this parable: What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”
As I read this parable and the Holy Spirit began His work in me, I was overwhelmed with the reality of God’s perfect goodness and His wondrous love for me. The root of the abounding joy, thankfulness, and devotion I saw in the Christians was simply the gospel! We love and live for Christ because He first loved us! (1 John 4:19) I eagerly wandered away from the flock of God to pursue a life in sin and thanklessness to my Maker and instead of allowing me to continue wandering all the way down to the pit of torment for my just punishment, He sought me out and brought me back! This moment completely redefined quality and goodness for me – my definitions now match those of my Creator! To quote the hymn writer Helen Lemmel, I turned my eyes upon Jesus, looked full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth grew strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace!
-Helena Kowalewski