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(from “The Exemplary Husband”)
As we have said, pride is blinding. This fact is why it is often difficult to see pride in ourselves, and yet so easy to see it in others. Here is a sample list of pride manifestations that can easily clear away the smoke of any self-righteousness.
1. Complaining against or passing judgement on God.
A proud person in a difficult situation thinks, “Look what God has done to me after all I have done for Him” (Numbers 14:1-4,9-11; Romans 9:20).
2. A Lack of Gratitude in general.
Proud people usually think they deserve what is good. The result is this, they see no reason to be thankful for what they receive. As a matter of fact, they may even complain because they think they deserve better. They tend to be critical, complaining and discontent. The proud person is not in practice of being thankful toward God or others (2 Chronicles 32:25).
3. Anger.
A proud person is often an angry person. One’s anger can include outbursts of anger, withdrawing, pouting, or frustration. A person most often becomes angry because his “rights” or expectations are not being met (Matthew 20:1-16).
4. Seeing Yourself as better than others.
A proud person is usually on top looking down on others. He gets easily disgusted and has little tolerance for differences ( Luke 7:36-50).
5. Having an inflated view of your importance, gifts and abilities.
Many proud people have a very strong perception of themselves. They need a loving dose of reality. They need to hear, “What do you have that God did not give you?” (1 Corinthians 4:7).
6. Being focused on the lack of your gifts and abilities.
Some proud people may not come across proud at all, because they are always down on themselves. This is still evidence of pride because one is focused on self and wants self to be elevated. Having a “woe is me” attitude is self-pity which is pride (1 Corinthians 12:14-25).
7. Perfectionism.
People who strive for everything to be perfect often do so for recognition. They may do it so that they can feel good about themselves. Whatever the reason, this behaviour is very self-serving and proud. The basic problem is making things that are less important, more important (Matthew 23:24-28).
8. Talking too much.
Proud people who talk too much often do it because they think that what they say is more important than what anyone else has to say. When there are many words, sin is generally unavoidable (Proverbs 10:19).
9. Talking too much about yourself.
A person who is proud may center on themselves in conversation. Sharing personal accomplishments and good personal qualities with others can be bragging or boasting (Proverbs 27:2, Galatians 6:3).
10. Seeking Independence or Control.
Some proud people find it extremely difficult to work under someone else or to submit to an authority. They have to be their own boss. They might say, “I don’t need anyone,” or “I don’t need accountability for my faith and doctrine.” They are often rigid, stubborn, headstrong, and intimidating. They may also say, “It’s my way or no way” (1 Corinthians 1:10-13; Ephesians 5:21).
11. Being consumed with what others think.
Some proud people are too concerned about the opinion of others. Many of their decisions are based on what others might think. Many of their decisions are based on what others might think. Some are in a continual pursuit of gaining the approval and esteem of others. Focusing on what others think of you or trying to impress others is being a man-pleaser rather than a God pleaser (Galatians1:10).
12. Being devastated or angered by criticism.
Proud people usually struggle a great deal with criticism. Such people cannot bear that they are not perfect or have weaknesses because they cannot accept who they really are (Proverbs 13:1).
13. Being unteachable.
Many proud people know it all. They’re superior. They can’t seem to learn anything from someone else. They respect no one (Proverbs 19:20, John 9:13-34).
14. Being sarcastic, hurtful, or degrading.
Proud people can be very unkind people. Those who belittle other people usually want to raise themselves up above others. Very often this can be quite cleverly done through jesting. Thy may excuse themselves by saying, “That’s just the way I am. That’s my personality” (Proverbs 12:18,23).
15. A lack of service.
Proud people may not serve because they are not thinking of others, or because they want to be coaxed to serve and don’t want to continue if there is no praise. Needing recognition is a sure sign of the wrong motive in service (Galatians 5:13; Ephesians 2:10).
16. A lack of compassion.
A person who is proud is rarely concerned for others and their concerns. They cannot see beyond their own desires (Matthew 5:7; 18:23-35).
17. Being defensive or blame-shifting.
You would often hear a proud person say, “Are you saying its my fault?” or “Well, what about you?” (Genesis 3:12-13; Proverbs 12:1).
18. A lack of admitting when you are wrong.
A proud person would make a great many excuses such as, “I was tired,” or “I was having a bad day” (Proverbs 10:17).
19. A lack of asking forgiveness.
Proud people rarely admit their sins or ask for forgiveness of other. They either cannot see their sin because they are blinded by their pride, or they just can’t seem to humble themselves before someone else and ask for forgiveness (Matthew 5:23-24).
20. A lack of biblical prayer.
Most proud people pray very little, if at all. Proud people who do pray usually center their prayers on themselves and their desires, rather than God and others (Luke 1:10-14).
21. Resisting Authority or being disrespectful.
A proud person may detest being told what to do. We might say he or she has a submission problem. What they actually have, however, is a pride problem. It is simply displaying itself in a lack of submission (1 Peter 2:13-17).
22. Voicing preferences and opinions when not asked.
A proud person might not be able to keep his preferences or opinions to himself. He will offer it when it is not asked for. These preferences are usually voiced without consideration for others (Philippians 2:1-4).
23. Minimizing your own sin and shortcomings.
A proud person typically believes that their own sin is no big deal. They think they have little sin and others have a great deal of it. (Matthew 7:3-5).
24. Maximizing other’s sin and shortcomings.
To the proud person, other people are the problem. They may magnify or bring attention to the sin of others by gossiping about the other’s sin (Matthew 7:3-5; Luke 18:9-14).
25. Being impatient or irritable with others.
A proud person might be angry with other people because they are concerned that their own schedule or plans are being ruined. They are often inflexible on preference issues (Ephesians 4:31-32).
26. Being jealous or envious.
Often when they do not enjoy the same benefits, proud people have a hard time being glad for other’s successes or blessings (1 Corinthians 13:4).
27. Using others.
The proud person usually views others in terms of what those people can do for them and their interests. Their focus is not on ministering to others. Everything is for them and about them (Matthew 7:12; Philippians 2:3-4).
28. Being deceitful by covering up sins, faults and mistakes.
Some proud people will do just about anything in order for others not to find out negative things about them.
29. Using attention-getting tactics.
A proud person may try to draw attention to themselves through dress, bizarre behaviour, being rebellious, always talking about their problems, etc. (1 Peter 3:3-4).
30. Not having close relationships. :
Proud people often have no use for close relationships, thinking that the trouble outweighs the benefits. They may see themselves as so self-sufficient that they do not need other people (Proverbs 188:1-2; Hebrews 10:24-25).
(from “The Exemplary Husband” by Stuart Scott)
A humble person lives differently than a proud one. How does your life measure up in the area of humility? Here is a sample list to help you evaluate how humble you are.
1. Recognizing and trusting God’s character.
A humble person acknowledges who God is and rehearses God’s character often. Because he does this, he trusts God much more than the proud person. In trials he would even thank God for the reminder of how much he needs Him and for all the good He is doing through the trial (Psalm 119:66).
2. Seeing yourself as having no right to question or judge an Almighty and Perfect God.
A humble man thinks of God as his Creator and himself as God’s creation. He does not see himself as even remotely qualified to pass judgement on God or what God does. He knows that his perfect and all-wise God can do whatever He pleases, and it will be the best for him (Psalm 145:17; Romans 9:19-23).
3. Focusing on Christ.
The humble see Christ as their life and their first love. There is no other thing or person that they must have. Through the day they talk to and worship Him often (Philippians 1:21; Hebrews 12:1-2).
4. Biblical Praying and a great deal of it.
Humble people want to worship God and they see themselves as totally dependent on God for His enablement. John Owen once said, “We have no power from Christ unless we live in a persuasion that we have none of our own.” Because they see themselves as needy, they pray often (1 Thessalonians 5:17; 1 Timothy 2:1-2).
5. Being overwhelmed with God’s undeserved Grace and Goodness.
The humble person sees himself as truly deserving of hell. He is immensely grateful to God for forgiving him of so much (Psalm 116:12-19).
6. Being thankful and grateful in general towards others.
Humble people thank God and others often. They expect nothing, so anything that is received is greatly appreciated. (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
7. Being gentle and patient.
Humble people want to act like God, and they are not focused on what they want. They also want to love others the way God loves them. They are willing to wait and are not easily irritated (Colossians 3:12-14).
8. Seeing yourself as no better than others.
A humble person understands the sinfulness of his own heart. He would never see himself as better than others. This is true no matter who the other person is. He understands that He, in and of himself, is capable of the worst sin. He agrees with John Bradford who said, “but for the Grace of God there I go” (Romans 12:16, Ephesians 3:8).
9. Having an accurate view of your gifts and abilities.
Humble people do not bemoan the fact that they are not as gifted as others. Neither do they exaggerate their own abilities (Romans 12:3).
10. Being a good listener.
Humble people consider what others have to says as more important than what they have to say. They take an interest in others by asking questions and listening. Self is not their primary focus (James 1:19; Philippians 12:3).
11. Talking about others only if it is good or for their good.
A humble person will speak well of others, not negatively. He will convey something negative about someone only if he must do so in order to help that person (Proverbs 11:13).
12. Being gladly submissive and obedient to those in authority.
Humble people are first of all obedient to God, and then the authorities over them (Romans 12:1-2; 13:1-2).
13. Preferring others over yourself.
Humble people are willing to put others before self without first considering their own rights (Romans 12:10).
14. Being thankful for criticism or reproof.
Humble people view reproof as good for them and consider that God may be trying to teach them something (Proverbs 9:8;27:5-6).
15. Having a teachable spirit.
Humble people realize they don’t know everything, and even when they think they are right are willing to consider that they might be wrong (1 Corinthians 4:7). They also know that God can use anyone to teach them, since He was even able to use a donkey to teach Balaam in Numbers 22:22-35. They have many people they admire and respect.
16. Seeking always to build up others.
Humble people encourage others. They only use words that build up and say what is necessary for the edification of others. They never cut others down (Ephesians 4:29).
17. Serving.
Humble people are on the look out for ways to serve and assist others. They are first to volunteer for jobs no one else wants. In the area of service, of course, the humble husband would especially serve his wife (Galatians 5:13).
18. A quickness in admitting when you are wrong.
Humble people have no problem with saying, “I was wrong. You are right. Thank you for telling me.” (Proverbs 29:23).
19. A quickness in granting and asking for forgiveness.
Humble people are eager to forgive because they know how much they have been forgiven. They have no trouble asking for forgiveness because they want to be peacemakers (Colossians 3:12-14).
20. Repenting of Sin as a way of Life.
A humble person asks God daily for forgiveness and works towards real change (1 John 1:9; 1 Timothy 4:7-9).
21. Minimizing others’ sins or shortcomings in comparison to your own.
A humble person thinks about his own sins more often than another’s sin. He also sees his own sin as more important to deal with than the sin of others. (Matthew 7:3-4).
22. Being genuinely glad for others.
Humble people rejoice with others when good things happen because they are aware that God has blessed them immeasurably and they trust God for what they do not have (Romans 12:15).
23. Being honest and open about who they are and the areas in which they need growth.
Humble people are open and honest about their growth in the Lord. They ask for help and accountability in the repentance process, knowing they need their brothers and sisters (Philippians 3:12-14; Galatians 6:2).
24. Possessing Close Relationships.
Humble people have friends and loved ones because they are friendly and love others (Acts 20:31-38).
Taken from the Exemplary Husband by Stuart Scott.